Saturday, January 3, 2026

It's A Hoot

["Let Inga Tell You," La Jolla Light, published January 5, 2026] 2026

In the decades that we've lived here, we've watched various fauna populations come and go, especially birds.

We've always encouraged avian populations with feeders for hummingbirds and song birds outside our windows. We even have a small outdoor aviary that previously housed the cockatiels that our older son bred for many years. He ultimately married and moved to Santa Cruz leaving us a cage full of cockatiels that can and do live twenty-five years. As we've often counseled young parents: never let your kids get a pet with a life expectancy greater than yours.

These days the aviary houses parakeets that are mostly rejects from friends whose kids got bored with them. We've somewhat evolved into an avian social service agency.

For years we had an active bluejay population, the result of the five pounds of peanuts in the shell (believe me, it's a LOT of peanuts) we hid around our front yard as a party game for our younger son Henry's fourth birthday. The kids got bored with it in nanoseconds but word got out in the bluejay community that a peanut paradise had sprung up in our yard, and to Come On Over! The bluejays used to eat out of our hands as we breakfasted at our patio table. (In addition to peanuts, they were also partial to Thomas's English muffins and Entenmann's donuts, definitely mutations in their evolutionary diet.)

Sadly, the bluejays have been gone for years, now replaced with crows. Lots and lots of crows. I've written about crows before and do have a genuine admiration for their language abilities, use of tools, and problem-solving skills. I wish, however, we could be hearing a lot less of that language and that they weren't eating the far smaller population of song birds who bravely attempt to partake of our feeders without becoming a meal themselves.

But the other bird population that really seems to have flourished in recent years, at least in my neighborhood, is Great Horned Owls. I really don t remember hearing them all that often in past decades but now am hearing their distinctive sound almost every night, often communicating with each other across nearby trees.

We hear the owls even with all our doors and windows closed. That's largely because our house was built by the lowest bidder after the war and for the most part, still has most of its original 1947 single-pane windows. Almost all of our neighbors have remodeled over the years and gone to double-pane which screens out a lot of noise. A year ago, we had to break one of our windows to free a bird trapped in one our double-hung windows (which by the way, still work well after 77 years!) Our handyman took a piece of glass to get it replaced and came back to report that our windows aren't even single pane. They're semi-single pane? Point-five pane? Cheap glass available post-war? He reported that the Home Depot guy hadn't seen glass this thin in decades.

I'd gotten quite used to hearing owls at night and was able to determine which of the large trees near and on our property were their preferred habitats. So I was heartbroken when a beautiful star pine down the street housing a multitude of owls was cut down to make way for a pool. I wanted to throw myself in front of the chain saw. 

Even that was a deja vu to the late 1990s when my husband Olof and I were volunteers on the baby song bird team for Project Wildlife. In the spring, tree trimmers would inadvertently cut down branches with nests full of baby birds which would overpower the resources available and be farmed out to people like us who fed them a special formula (which, ironically, included cat food) every thirty minutes from dawn to dusk until they were old enough to be released. I even took a cage of baby birds to work each day, prevailing upon co-workers to feed them if I had to attend a meeting. Alas, someone complained to HR (my boss?) and my career as a song bird savior was over.

Recently I ran into my neighbor, Sally, who asked if I were hearing a lot of owls. So I'm not imagining that there seem to be a lot more owls out there now. We began to chat about why that may be.

Now, one obvious reason that they re hanging around my house is one of owls preferred food groups is rodents. I've written about rodents on a number of occasions and my on-going efforts to discourage their presence on my property which is the ultimate rodential Shangri-la. We have an orange tree that produces 1,000 oranges twice a year. Tons of foliage. A wood pile! Ivy! Bird feeders! Does it get better than this?

Is my prolific rodent population contributing to these birds presence? Am I singlehandedly responsible for the increase in owlage?

Now, any creature that eats rats is a friend of mine. I realize that rats are just trying to make a living like the rest of us. I just wish they'd made that living somewhere else.

In order to discourage the biggest draw - the oranges - to our rodent population, our wonderful handyman, Oren, denudes the tree of oranges we don t need twice a year and dispenses them like a Pied Piper of Citrus to friends and his other clients. It's a win-win for everybody.

But in spite of that, the local rodents still like to hang out at our place.

So no wonder we're hearing owls. That's probably what all that hooting is about. "Hey guys, there's this woodsy house that is a veritable Xanadu of well-fed rats. It's like fishing in a barrel!"

Lying in bed at night listening to the owls hooting back and forth, I can only wonder what they're saying. Are they inviting other horned owls over for a beer? Maybe a mating call of the "wanna see my etchings?"  type?

Apparently each type of hoot - its pitch, rhythm, number of notes - is often unique to a particular species, allowing owls to identify and communicate with members of their own kind. The ones who live near me seem to have plenty to say to each other and I really enjoy listening in. I just wish I could speak owl well enough to let them know that the area behind the woodpile has particularly good pickings of the rodential persuasion.

 

 


 

 

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Definitely In The Wrong Profession

["Let Inga Tell You,"  La Jolla Light, published January 1, 2026] 2026

OK, I know it's not nice to make fun of other people's occupations, but I really have trouble with animal psychics. Part of that trouble is my regret that I never entered this lucrative field myself especially in a place where there is both lots of money and lots of pets.

Some years ago, I had an acquaintance who shall remain nameless who told me that her dog kept getting out of the yard while she was at work. Now, it seemed obvious to me that the poor animal was lonely and didn't like being left alone all day. To entertain itself (and hopefully seek some companionship), it spent its time digging a hole under her fence to escape.

Finally, the acquaintance engaged the services of a pet psychic to meet with the dog and see what its issues might be. She first met with the psychic, explained the problem and then had the canine clairvoyant meet privately with the pup.

My acquaintance couldn't sing the praises more highly of the psychic afterwards.

"It was amazing!" she effused. "She said that Bowser was feeling sad while I was at work and felt incredibly stressed and was just trying to come and find me."

"Um,"  I said. "But isn't that kind of what you told her? (I didn't add: "and freaking obvious?")

"But not exactly like that!"  insisted my acquaintance. "I couldn't believe the details Bowser told her! I never would have guessed!"

Personally, it seemed that the money spent on the pooch portender might have been better spent on enrolling it in doggie daycare. But that's just me.

During this conversation, I kept having a deja  vu to a long-ago psychology class about a therapeutic style called "emphathic paraphrasing."   This involves restating, using different words, someone's thoughts and feelings in a way that demonstrates understanding and compassion. It makes the client feel heard and is a genuinely powerful therapeutic tool.

So are pet psychics simply experts at empathic paraphrasing with maybe a side of fabrication?

In fact, this reminded me of another situation that I wrote about a long time ago when a neighbor's cat, known as Butterscotch, was left behind when they moved. Tracked down, they said they thought someone else might also be feeding him so they d felt OK departing without him. (Gah!)

Butterscotch showed up like clockwork at our doorstep every night meowing piteously until I came out to the front porch with a can of people tuna. Meanwhile I posted his photo on "Do you know me?"  fliers around the neighborhood. We couldn't keep Butterscotch ourselves as my younger son was anaphylatically-allergic to cats.

A day or so later, two women called. "Yes, that s our cat Tiger,"  they said. "He adopted us a few months ago but disappears for days at a time. We've spent $600 on his vet bills."

When Tiger/Butterscotch showed up at my doorstep that night doing his starving homeless cat act, I stared him down and said, "I'm on to you, you kitty con artist. Just how many homes do you have???"

Several, as it turned out. Once the tuna train ended at my house, he began frequenting the master bedroom of another neighbor, Jeff, whose French doors were often open. Jeff had no interest in a cat but Tiger/Butterscotch was not to be dissuaded.

I connected Jeff up with the two ladies on the next street. As often as Jeff returned the marmalade manipulator to their house, Tiger would be back to Jeff s an hour later. The two women were distraught at Tiger s rejection (especially after their financial investment in the furry felon's medical care) and finally concluded there was only one thing to be done.

They called in the cat whisperer. 

The kitty psychic ($150 hour) closeted herself with her feline client for a private consultation. Tiger, the cat shrink reported when she emerged, was distraught that there was now another male cat on the women's block who was more dominant than he. His male ego bruised, he had sought refuge at Jeff's where there was less competition, not to mention gratuitous male bonding. (The cat whisperer didn't specifically mention it, but I'm sure Tiger told her that he, like Jeff, was a rabid Yankees fan.) While Tiger didn't want to appear ungrateful for the ladies many kindnesses, at this stage in his life, he needed a more guy-centric environment.

"Well," said Jeff, who didn't want to admit just how attached he and his girlfriend were to the cat at this point, "if it s really what Tiger wants..."

Easter Sunday was to be the official changeover day. Jeff's girlfriend made a nice brunch and the two tearful ladies showed up, Tiger in tow, for the official handover of distemper shot records. They surveyed Tiger s new home, and approved. Food was served. But when it came time for the relinquishment to become final, the ladies had a sudden change of heart. What if the Feline Freud had misunderstood the tabby terror's wishes?

Tiger was put on the phone during an emergency call to the cat psychic whose skills fortunately included aural communication over optical fiber. The ladies were assured that Tiger had re-asserted his wishes to live with Jeff.

And that was that. Jeff was now the proud owner of a kitty bigamist.

Personally, I was always suspicious about the story of Tiger being threatened by other male cats on the block but who was going to dispute it? Definitely not Tiger who lived a long and happy life at Jeff s.

But I do feel that maybe I'm in the wrong occupation. And by the way, I'd be willing to do it for $125, treats included.


 

 

Saturday, December 20, 2025

The Hazards Of Hostessing

["Let Inga Tell You,"  La Jolla Light, published December 25, 2025] 2025

I love to collect stories from friends who host large groups during the holidays and have to deal with picky eaters.

Seriously, these women qualify for sainthood. Unless it's a genuine allergy situation (verified by a note from the guest's doctor), I tend to go with my mother's philosophy which was the same both for entertaining and weeknight family meals: dinner is served!

Since there appears to be a new health fad just about weekly, trying to accommodate what guests are or more to the point, are not eating is pretty much doomed to failure. But this does not keep my heroic friends from trying.

A good friend of mine recounted how she was planning a Christmas day dinner for 11 (her table can only accommodate ten but she decided she could squish two people together at the end of the table) which would include three young grandchildren plus some family friends.

One of the guests was her husband s ex-wife with whom both she and her husband have maintained an enviably cordial relationship. The ex-wife called and mentioned that she had a new boyfriend and wondered if he might be able to attend as well? My friend, ever accommodating, decided she could probably squish two people together at BOTH ends of the table, and said yes.

Ex-wife calls back the next day. Boyfriend wants to know if he can bring his teenage daughter since it will be a custody day. My friend starts to panic. But the grandkids are tiny, she can maybe double them up, so she says yes.

That afternoon, another call. The teenage daughter would really like to bring her boyfriend who is in a horrible family situation and will not otherwise have any celebration at all. It would be a great kindness to include him, and of course, would be in the spirit of the holiday. My friend says yes, realizing that she will probably be eating by herself in the kitchen. Or maybe she can rent some folding chairs to put around the table instead of using the comfy chairs that go with her dining room set.

She then learns that all four of these guests are vegetarians.

She decides to make this meal really simple: pasta with a choice of a red marinara sauce with meat or a green pesto sauce. Very Christmas-y. There will be a big salad, and some fabulous bread. Voila!

But then she hears from her daughter-in-law. DIL has decided that the grandtots, who have been eating bread and pasta for their entire little lives, including the day before, are gluten-sensitive and will henceforth be eating only gluten-free pasta and gluten-free bread. DIL notes that that would include any croutons in the salad.

My friend decides, OK, so she'll serve two types of pasta, one gluten and one gluten-free, with the two sauces, along with both gluten-y and gluten-free bread. Croutons will be eliminated from the salad. Or she could make some using the gluten-free bread? Nope, that might push her into the zone of hostility.

There went the pies she was planning to serve for dessert too. Can't serve a dessert (gluten in crusts) that the grandkids can t eat. Relationship with the daughter-in-law could not be saved.

One of the other guests then reminds my friend that in her dietary regimen (no allergies, has something to do with blood type?), she does not consume fungi (that would be mushrooms), root vegetables (including onions), or meat. Dang! That red sauce was going to have all three of those ingredients. And the now-crouton-free salad was going to have mushrooms too. Okay, so my friend makes a note to remember to put the mushrooms on the side and let people add them to their salad if they want. But eliminating onions, mushrooms and meat from her treasured family red sauce was going to be problematical at best. She realizes that there are just going to have to be two red sauces, the traditional one that she usually makes, and one that will pretty much be...tomatoes.

But now the problem is how to serve all these dishes since her sideboard really doesn't have enough room for so many options. It will also be critical to make sure that everything is scrupulously labeled so that nobody eats gluten-y bread and mushroom-tainted marinara sauce by mistake.

Of course, it would be so easy to get all those labels confused! Imagine the horror to find that the gluten-free preferers (not actually allergic) had accidentally eaten the gluten stuff by mistake, or that the onion lady had ingested not only fungi but cow!

Personally, I would feel really really bad if that happened. For about five minutes. And then I would sit down with my glass of chardonnay looking at the twinkly lights on my tree, chuckling maniacally, and basking in the spirit of the holiday season.

 

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Getting A Christmas Tree Hasn’t Always Gone Smoothly

[“Let Inga Tell You,” La Jolla Light, published December 8, 2025] ©2025

A few days ago I went to buy my Christmas tree and couldn’t help but reflect on the ghosts of Christmas trees past.

My first husband always insisted we get a small live tree which we would then plant in the yard in what he considered a charming post-Christmas tradition. Folks: do NOT try this at home!  Little did we realize how much those suckers would grow - one to 40 feet! By the time my husband and I divorced ten years (and Christmas trees) later, anyone driving by would think our place was a tree farm with a driveway.  Meanwhile, the interior of the house descended into a cave-esque gloom since the tree tops had created a rain forest canopy effect. The tree roots made for constant plumbing problems and grass wouldn’t grow under pine needles. Ultimately, it cost me $4,000 to have ten originally-$20 trees removed from the property.  (I knew I should have had a Christmas tree removal reimbursement clause in the divorce decree!)

Post-divorce and single with two little kids, I went for the six-foot Douglas fir simply because they were the cheapest. I’d be on my stomach trying to screw the trunk into the stand while six-year-old Rory was holding up the tree. Three-year-old Henry was supposed to tell me when it was straight.  I crawled out from under the tree to discover that it was listing 45 degrees. Irrefutably demonstrating the principle of gravitational vector forces, it promptly fell over.

It was several more years until we had a Christmas tree that wasn’t leaning precariously. In a brilliant Single Mom Home Repair School move, I tied a rope midway up the trunk and tethered the other end to a ceiling plant hook.  Miraculously (since I guarantee that butterfly bolts are not rated for Christmas tree stabilization), it stayed vertical.

Some years later, Henry, who was about 11 at the time, and I brought home a bargain supermarket tree. Our tree, alas, had lots of branches right at the base of the trunk which we were attempting to amputate with a rusty jigsaw (left over from Pinewood Derby days) - in the dark in the front yard via flashlight - so that we could get the trunk into the stand.  What’s amazing is that we didn’t sever any digits in the process. I finally ended up calling a neighbor who came over with the appropriate tools and did the job for us. Decision for next year: better saw, or a tree from a Christmas tree lot.

Since I wasn’t all that interested in replicating the experience even with good tools, the next year I did indeed go to a tree lot and got full-service branch trimming. The tree lot guys mentioned that they could probably get the tree on top of my little Toyota if I wanted to save the delivery fee. (I think they sensed a cheap tipper.)  I was dubious but they did indeed get the tree tied securely on top of the car by having me open the two front windows and running the rope through the car and around the tree, knotting it on top.

IQ test: What’s wrong with this picture?

Off I went in the early evening darkness driving as slowly as possible through back streets.  I was terrified that a sudden stop would put this tree on the hood of my car, or worse, through the windshield of the car behind me. With enormous relief, I pulled up in front of my darkened house. It was the kids’ night at their dad’s, and my second husband, Olof, and I were not yet married.  My plan was to untie the tree, drag it onto the front porch and have the kids help me set it up the following night.

Obviously over-focused on saving the delivery fee and failing to engage even a single synapse, I had not stopped to realize that with the rope threaded through the car windows, the doors couldn’t open. I was trapped in my car. It was well before cell phones. I sat in my car thinking, “Geesh, Inga, it’s amazing you’re allowed to leave the house without a conservator.”  (And also: Would it have killed those tree guys to ask if there would be anybody at home???)

I sat there shivering in my open-windowed car and pondering my options. I didn’t really want to have to go all the way back to the tree lot. But it would probably take all evening to cut through the rope with my car keys. (Note to self: Keep 9-inch Bowie knife in glove compartment!)

As luck would have it, a neighbor arrived home from work shortly after, and, graciously avoiding voicing what must surely have been his assessment of the situation, extricated me from the car. Why all of my neighbors were not hiding from me after the first year I was single is still a mystery.

But ultimately, I married Olof and we could afford to have not only the Noble fir I had always coveted but have the nice Christmas tree lot people deliver it and set it up to my satisfaction. Personally, I think I’ve earned it.

 

Saturday, November 29, 2025

Why Some People Will Never Use E-Readers

["Let Inga Tell You,"  La Jolla Light, published December 1, 2025] 2025

Recently I read an article about the personality traits of people who still read physical books instead of e-books. Even before I read the first word, I was willing to go wild and crazy and surmise that those would be positive traits and that the author was likely a physical book reader herself.

Of course, if this article had been written by either of my strictly-digital-reading sons, I would guess that those personality traits would include "Luddite", "techno-moron", "change-averse", "retro"  and the ever-popular "tree killer".

And actually, all of those terms would be true.

Now that I'm retired, I read at least three books a week, the vast majority of them from my always-full public library queue. The front seat of my car has library books being transported to and from the library pretty much at all times.

Being able to read so many books is definitely a corrective emotional experience from my twelve years as a divorced working mom when I read exactly no books a year. I mean, zee-ro. I didn't even bother with a library card since they unreasonably wouldn't let you keep a book out for twelve months (years?) at a time. There used to be library fines and mine would have looked like the defense budget.

So I'd buy a book from Warwick's which would reside on my bedside table with hopes that over time I'd have enough time or energy to actually read it. But I never got past the first page. In that era, I was so chronically exhausted that I was usually asleep before my head had even hit the pillow.

I'm just glad I lived long enough to make up for all those books I never got to read. My engineer husband Olof reads both e-books and physical books. He likes novels on his e-reader but thinks the graphics are better in those massive 1,200-page techno-tomes he inexplicably considers pleasure reading. As for me, I just like the tactile feel of an actual book in my lap.

According to the article about physical book readers, the traits we have (as opposed to you unctuous e-reader people) are (allegedly): we're self-aware, empathic, imaginative, self-disciplined, reflective, thoughtful, deeply emotional, poetic, and introspective. 

Actually, I can simplify that list. If it requires instructions and/or batteries, we're not interested.

I read the list of qualities of physical book readers to my husband and asked if he thought these traits described me. When I got to "deeply emotional", he queried, "So like hurling f-bombs at your electronics?"   OK, I admit it. I am not only techno-disabled but have the frustration of a gnat. It seems like the only reasonable response when technology thwarts me. Which it seems to do pretty continuously.

Seriously, everything has gotten so much more complicated than it needs to be. Even my new stove required a 60-page manual of instructions. It doesn't even get to "bake"  until page 40. The stove I had when I first married had two knobs, one marked "Off-Bake-Broil"  and the other temperatures. (The pre-heat setting, not indicated, was waiting 15 minutes.) I still think of that stove incredibly fondly.

I have seen first-hand that I am not the only physical book aficionado out there. Never was this illustrated more eloquently than on March 14, 2020 when the Covid epidemic hit and the library announced it would be closing the next day until further notice. The Riford library on Draper looked like a literary Luddite Fall of Saigon. There was wholesale panic. The place was packed. The librarians were frantically dispensing plastic grocery bags and allowing patrons to check out up to 40 books although I don t think anyone was actually counting. Like everyone else, I was dumping books wholesale into my bags according to two criteria which were (1) it had a cover and (2) there were words inside.

During the pandemic, books were assumed to be carrying Covid cooties so there was no way to return them during the long library closure. They rode around in the trunk of my car for months waiting to be repatriated with the mothership. 

Covid generated a new DSM-5 category: "People Who Will Just Not Use E-Readers No Matter What."  (There is no vaccine for this.)

Fortunately, a lot of those neighborhood Little Libraries popped up during that time when people could exchange books. They were a godsend. I was pawing through them at every opportunity.

From time to time, we techno-hostile people actually prevail. Olof and I like to sit outside on summer evenings and read, he on his iPad or e-reader, and me with a library book. Occasionally, Olof will have to go in early because the iPad's low battery sensor is flashing. I try to look sympathetic but it's all I can do to stifle a snicker. I never have to worry about the battery on my library book getting too low.

"You don't have to look so smug,"  my techno-husband will say, heading indoors.

But I can't help myself. I just want to sit outside for as long as I want to with a nice glass of wine and an actual book that makes a soothing susurrus when you turn the pages. No charging necessary.

 


 

 

Friday, November 21, 2025

Even More Things To Be Thankful About This Year

["Let Inga Tell You,"  La Jolla Light, published November 24, 2025] 2025

Last year at Thanksgiving, I wrote a column thanking my parents for all the things that I didn't even know to thank them for when they were alive. A year later and a new political era, the list has grown even longer.

I've covered in previous columns that I am a fourth-generation feminist and Democrat married to a life-long Republican, although Olof and I have both voted across party lines on many occasions. It's a dynamic that feels very familiar to me. My father was a conservative Republican and my mother a liberal feminist Democrat. It made for a lot of lively, but respectful, dinner table conversation at our house.

Conversations are pretty lively at our dinner table too but in the current era, for different reasons entirely. Olof and I have never been more politically aligned. My husband is still fervently hoping the Republican party will return to what he thinks of as its former glory. I, of course, think it never had one. We both feel failed by the parties we have supported our whole lives. But we are both committed to voting even on the occasions our votes cancel each other out. (Prop 50 was a recent example.)

Both of my parents were avid community volunteers. My father ran the United Fund campaign in our area and we referred to ourselves as United Fund orphans during the major fundraising season.

My mother's occupations, meanwhile, included teaching convicts at an area penitentiary, substitute teaching junior high (is there a parallel there?) and leading Brownies and Girl Scouts. But the one she was most passionate about was not only teaching ESL (English as a second language) but tutoring, on her own time, many of her students to pass the written driver s exam which in that era had to be taken in English. Given the lack of public transit in our area, a driver s license was essential to getting any kind of good job. Her efforts included teaching them to drive in our car. I think my mother could yell STOP! in eight languages.

Having immigrants regularly in our house meant that we kids got to learn about other cultures, and the challenges they faced surviving in a new land without knowing the language. It was one of the most valuable educations I've ever had. I've never known people who worked harder

It was largely from this immigrant influence that I was inspired to apply for a student exchange program to spend my senior year of high school in a foreign country which is, in fact, where I met my now-husband, Olof, who was a fellow student on the same program in Brazil.

As a total aside on the immigrant issue, I recently met a young woman who volunteered, in a conversation about illegal aliens being deported, that her ethnicity was White Mountain Apache. I had never heard of this tribe of some 12,000 native Americans mostly residing in a reservation in Arizona. Not surprisingly, her sardonic view was that the 342 million current Americans all fall into the illegal alien category.

I'm writing this column on November 11 - Veteran s Day - and realized that last year I failed to thank all the people in my family who have served in the military, including my current husband, Olof, who was an Air Force pilot for ten years. Even my first husband served two years as a Navy doctor under the Berry Plan (which was how we ended up in San Diego in the first place).

My father served in the Army Air Forces (now the Air Force) in World War II; my husband Olof s father as a Navy pilot in the Pacific an incredibly high-hazard assignment. Even my grandfather served in the US Army in World War I. All of these men were clear in their mission and put their lives on the line for it.

My father and Olof s were among sixteen million fellow Americans who served in the U.S. Armed Forces during the Second World War, 407,000 of whom lost their lives in the process. It just seems that saying "thank you for your service", however well intended, doesn't begin to acknowledge the sacrifices that so many men and women have made to keep this country a democracy. I am especially grateful this year.

My parents, like everyone else, were flawed people making their share of mistakes. My mother, a smoker, died of lung cancer at 54. My father, like most of the neighbor men, could have done with fewer martinis. But there were three things I think my parents did extremely well.

Top among the things I am grateful to them for: they didn't hate. Whatever their prejudices might have been, we never heard them. They never referred to anyone by race or religion, and to this day, when I hear gratuitous (or even flat-out biased) references to people based on these factors, it immediately stands out to me in a very sad way.

Secondly, I consider one of the major gifts they gave their children was the concept that people could disagree, that over respectful - I can t emphasize the word enough - debate, ones view of the world could evolve and change. But you had to be willing to listen. And to vet your information to the best of your ability. And then: make your case.

And finally, one of the concepts my parents emphasized that seems especially important in current times involves the philosophy that what you accept, you teach. I'm guessing I'm not the only person who still talks to their dead relatives, but I can  put myself at our dinner table and hear them, if they were still alive, soliciting our opinions on the current state of affairs, and asking us: is this what you want? And if not, speak up.

So on this Thanksgiving Day, thank you Mom and Dad, and all the family members who have served to protect this country. I so appreciate all of you.

 

Friday, November 7, 2025

Inga's All-Time Favorite Quotes

["Let Inga Tell You,"  La Jolla Light, published November 10, 2025] 2025

Over the years, I've been collecting favorite quotes way too many to list here. I first published this list in March of 2018 and got such a huge response to it that I like to run an updated version of it every few years with new additions. As before, some of these quotes seem truly prescient for their time especially the first four:

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there."   First line of the book The Go-Between by L.P. Hartley. (1953)

"You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."  - Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan (1927-2003), and others

"Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one." - Journalist A.J. Liebling

"I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work."  Thomas Edison

"The older you get, the better you get. Unless you re a banana."  - Late actress Betty White

"Things always get worse before they get a lot worse."  - Lily Tomlin

"If you're the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room."  Attributed to various leaders

"The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't decide."   (Unknown)

"The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943

"My body isn't me. I just live here."   (Magnet on Inga s refrigerator)

"Most editors are failed writers. So are most writers." T.S. Eliot

"A drug is any substance that, when injected in a rat, gives rise to a scientific paper."   - Darryl Inaba (1984)

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now."    Chinese Proverb

"We never wanted to divorce at the same time."  Reply from friends of Inga s when asked the secret of their 50-year marriage 

"Not having to worry about your hair anymore may be the secret upside of death."   - Nora Ephron

"In our judicial system, you are assumed guilty until proven rich or lucky."   Pundit John Oliver 

A scientist friend who was invited to present at a professional meeting in Jakarta observed to the organizer that the schedule, as set, was not being even remotely followed. The reply: "You should think of the schedule more as a first draft of a play that will be given improvisationally.

"The only way to be reliably sure the hero gets the girl at the end of the story is to be both the hero and the girl."  - Becoming Duchess Goldblatt, A Memoir

"A closed mouth gathers no feet."   - Inga s personal motto, poorly followed 

"What you accept, you teach."   - Inga s parents motto, well followed.

"The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place."     George Bernard Shaw

"May you step on Legos in the middle of the night."    Curse

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."  - Thomas Edison

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat." Actor Stephen Wright

"I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction." - Clarence Darrow (1857-1938)

"After a failure, there's always someone who wished there was an opportunity they'd missed."  - Lily Tomlin

"All swash and no buckle."   - variation on "all hat and no cattle"

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." - Vince Lombardi

"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher." - Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

"My brain seems to be working for a different organization now."   (Inga s friend Julia referring to menopause)

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." - Milton Berle

"The wages of sin are death, but after taxes are taken out, it s just kind of a tired feeling."    Paula Poundstone.

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure." - Mystery writer Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

"The chief cause of problems is solutions."    Journalist Eric Sevareid (1912-1992)

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."  - Oscar Wilde

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory." - Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)