I Can't Believe My Eyes

["Let Inga Tell You,"  La Jolla Light, published January 26, 2026] 2026

I can't believe my eyes. No, I really can t. My ears either. Or frankly any of my senses. And this absolutely terrifies me.

Seriously, the number of scams that come my way on a daily basis make me want to cancel internet and phone service, and keep my money in cash in a safety deposit box at my local bank. I agree it would be a tad isolating but far less anxiety-provoking.

My sell-by date has definitely expired. I'm terrified of waking up one morning and finding that every dime of our retirement funds is now in Nigeria.

Daily, I receive multiple notifications, some of which look fairly authentic, that my Amazon Prime Membership has expired. That my Spectrum account has been flagged. That there is a fraud alert on our USAA account. That a critical bill was not paid and our health insurance has been cancelled. That we need to verify account information. That my email account has been suspended.

"Amazon"  calls and wants me to verify that I made a certain purchase. Text messages regularly inform me that Fed Ex is unable to deliver my package and to please click here to update delivery instructions. The alleged-IRS claimed that my end of the year statement was ready which was puzzling since it was still November. Or that I failed to pay for road tolls. Of course, one time we did forget to pay toll fees on a rental car in the Bay area and the penalties were staggering.

It goes on and on. They all want me to click on this link to resolve it. (I know better than to click on those links.) Sometimes they demand I change my password. Of course, sites like the Franchise Tax Board do make you change your password every 90 days or your account locks.

But here s the thing: recently Spectrum actually did update ancient accounts such as ours that actually did require new passwords. But I also got numerous emails from allegedly-Spectrum on the same subject that were scams. I finally called Spectrum and read them each of the emails and asked, did you send me this? Two were real, the rest weren't. But they all sounded legitimate.

Back in 2015, we checked into a hotel on Christmas Eve, after which I turned off my phone. The next morning, there were multiple missed calls from USAA. I called back the number and learned that within 30 minutes of our checking in, $3,000 worth of X-boxes had been purchased in two different Walmarts in Pennsylvania. Not being able to reach me, they had just cut off the card. Now, of course, I'd call the USAA fraud line, not the call back number they left, even though in that case, it was an actual call from USAA.

I'm too old for this. And way too techno-challenged to figure out what s real and what isn't.

Speaking of old, I got a great column out of being called by a would-be Grandma scammer some years ago who was purporting to be my grandson who'd been in an accident in Mexico and who needed money wired to him for his hospital bill. This one was easy: my oldest grandson at the time was seven. I strung the kid along for a half hour pretending to be too much of an idiot to understand the instructions for wiring him the money.

Eerily AI (more on that anon) can duplicate your voice, and with some data easily mined from the internet, make you actually believe the Grandma scam.

Now, of course, if I thought there was the slightest chance it really was one of my grandsons, I'd ask questions that only he would know the answer to. But more likely, just hang up. Note to grandsons: if you are in an accident in Tijuana, do not call here.

What I was most curious about with the grandma scam was: how did he target me? Has someone hacked the AARP mailing list? Or do they just call randomly until they get someone who sounds old. (I do not sound old, you little creep!)

A close friend almost went for a scam from Wells Fargo telling her that her account had been compromised and she needed to temporarily transfer $40,000 from her account to keep it safe from the scammers. She nearly went for it. These people are getting wilier and wilier.

Even sending someone a check has been fraught with peril as scammers fish checks out of post office boxes, wash the checks, and write in new numbers. I try to make most payments on my bank s website but if I do need to send a check, I use the hopefully-not-washable new ink pens and mail it from a box inside the post office. It's a total pain.

Apparently another scam has a caller asking "Can you hear me?"  and if you answer "yes", it can then capture your voice saying yes to commit all kinds of other fraud on your accounts. Or is this story itself even a scam?

It probably doesn't help that I write under a porn star name. Those guys in Riga just won't let up.

The AI stuff can look terrifying real. Should I believe my own senses? At first I was stunned that celebrities like Tom Hanks and Oprah were hawking such sketchy products until I realized they weren't. But anyone's likeness can be duplicated by AI and you can be made to be doing pretty much anything. AI can create a video of you with only a photo of your face.

Discerning actual news videos from AI-generated ones are only determined by the fact that if the AI version had really happened, it would have made the actual evening news.

Then there's the physical crime: the scourge known as porch pirates. The perfect crime. Doesn't seem to matter if your face or even the license plate of your car is captured on a Ring camera. No one ever seems to be prosecuted.

How do you even fight back on all this?

Should you unsubscribe to phishing emails? Or have you just confirmed your address?

Of course, some of these scams are easy to spot. When Amazon calls me to inquire if I made what they think is a suspicious purchase, it's easy enough to just go on my account and see if any such purchase was actually made. (It never has been.) It's also suspicious if the callback number is 619.

I don t even dare click on cute animal videos that friends send me, or even digital greeting cards. I don t want to click on anything.

For the first time, I didn't even dare order checks from my own bank's website (which sends you to a different site). There were too many new options, including suggesting a $42 shipping fee to make sure those checks actually got to you. (I went into the bank personally, another total pain.)

Do I get more than most people because I'm old? Probably. We boomers come from a more trusting era. 

But here's something AI needs to come up with: a clairvoyance feature. A digital "spidey sense."   That's one option I d click on.