The next morning I am on the phone at 7 a.m. and get Jason, an alleged supervisor. Jason promises me that a technician will be out between 5-7 that day to restore the TV service. The new installation will have to wait until Sunday. I ask why no one called us when they weren’t going to come. He says their records show that the scheduled technician (hereafter known as “The Lying Bag of Sheep Dung”) cryptically noted that he was “unable to access area under house” and hence cancelled the call without ever coming here.
At 6:55 p.m., just as we are about to give up, a TW Cable guy named Avery shows up. He agrees our TV cable service is out but is puzzled as to how that could be since the first guy never went under the house. We are sure he is going to shrug his shoulders – it is, after all, Friday night - and leave in TW’s inimitable way but he is determined to fix this for us. We are so dazzled we are speechless. Is this really a TW Cable guy? He finally dons his hazmat suit and crawls under the house in the now-pitch blackness and discovers that when the first guy had been tugging on the cable from the outside of the house, he had pulled it out from the splitter underneath the house. Avery fixes this and voila.
Avery fesses up, however, to tripping over one of our above-ground sprinkler heads in the dark thus disabling our sprinkler system. He offers to pay for it. We decline. He’s honest to boot! If only we could just get Avery on retainer.
Meanwhile, Olof decides against the new installation. He is no longer a virgin. In fact, he’s feeling like he’s been violated by a horde of surly ninjas. Even though we’ve kept TW Cable because they’re the evil that we know, we conclude it’s time for the evil that we don’t know.
Neither of us feels inclined to spend yet more time on hold with TW Cable to cancel the new installation call that was rescheduled for Sunday. When they come, we’ll tell them we’ve changed our minds. Take THAT, Time Warner Cable!
They never show up.