When I read recently that new studies suggest that there could be a connection between calcium supplements and heart disease, I officially gave up on medical science. Sorry, science, it’s just over between us.
I mean, is there a more sacred cow in women’s health
care than supplemental calcium? A lot of
other supplements have been hyped over the years – Tryptophan, Sam-e, Echinacea,
Chondroitin – but the one indisputable, irrefutable, absolutely sacrosanct piece
of advice for women was to take calcium.
Hormone replacement, cholesterol limits in egg yolks and shrimp, butter
vs. margarine, all went in and out of style.
But not calcium.
It was always the first question out of any primary
care doctor’s mouth: Are you taking
calcium? Really important for bone
health unless you want to end up looking like a mobile end table in your
60’s.
It’s not even that supplemental calcium might not be
helping you. It can be causing you
harm. I just can’t help having a giant
snit about this. If that’s true, what
took medical research so long to figure it out?
I’ve been taking supplemental calcium for at least 30 years. Aside from a big
fat refund, I also want an extended warranty on my heart from you guys.
Turns out, according to the new research,
supplemental calcium can sock it to your heart in several possible ways. One of them is not taking along with it enough
magnesium and Vitamin D (the current darling of over-the-counter supplements – I’m
predicting it will be found to cause dementia). Another is that the body can really only
handle a certain amount of calcium at once and the rest can end up in your
arteries causing atheroschlerosis and increasing the risk of heart
disease.
Nobody, of course, is saying that you don’t need
calcium for your bones. But this week’s prevailing
medical wisdom is that to avoid getting too much calcium in your system, you’re
only supposed to get it from your diet, preferably in the form of leafy greens
and dairy. So, ladies, flush those
calcium supplements before they cause you to keel over from calcium excess in
the middle of eating a blueberry yogurt.
(Of course, we can’t all flush them at once or there’s going to be a LOT
of fish with heart disease.)
If the calcium news weren’t bad enough, The New York
Times reported on May 14 another new
study that showed that sharply limiting sodium intake had no health benefits
and, like calcium, could actually increase the risk of heart disease. I am ordering an anchovy pizza RIGHT NOW.
For years before that, studies incontrovertibly
showed that doing crossword puzzles every day made the aging brain stay agile. Now the Wall Street Journal reports that all
crossword puzzles do for your brain is make you better at crossword puzzles.
Personally, I think the National Institutes of
Health just enjoy toying with us.
I’ve become seriously suspicious. For example, I remember reading all those studies
showing that hormone replacement therapy was good. If those studies were all flawed, how do we
know the new ones about calcium and sodium and heart disease aren’t too? Before I completely change my life again,
they’re going to have to convince me. And let me just say, I’m going to be a really hard sell at this point.
No, this volte
face on calcium is a level of perfidy that cannot be countenanced. You’ve crossed the line this time,
microbiology nerds. I’m done with you changing
the rules!
I’ve concluded that my husband, Olof, is right: Medical science doesn’t really have a clue. The good news, says Olof, is that you can pick
what you want to die from. Neither of us are willing to die from liver
since we don’t like liver. But I’m
willing to die from chocolate. He’s
willing to die from single malt Scotch.
Fortunately for me, there are plenty of
opportunities with chocolate to get enough calcium from one’s diet. As a first step, I’m going to drastically up
my intake of Ben and Jerry’s Fudge Brownie ice cream. Strictly medicinal.
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